forgotten existences (poem one, theme one)

days, months, years

you want to get rid of it all

and bury it deep within the abyss

us humans call a mind

suppression is the key

to imprisoning opinions,

and tearing peaceful nights of sleep,

without the echoing, of

screams, of

torture, and

suppressed memories apart.

and they cluster together

and intertwine their essences

to create

a hideous masterpiece

stowed within

the hallowed crevices

of your mind

you want to forget

everything, anything

to rid yourself of that pain

that tears apart

the mangled tissue

of your heart

and buries itself

deep within worry

you do forget, in due time

that it once existed,

that it once haunted your existence,

that you once suffered such trauma

that it still hurts so much

you keep trying,

to forget and remember certain things

but it just doesn’t work, does it?

your mind doesn’t work like that

your mind is dark,

stained by an accursed,

merciless self-consciousness,

borne of unforgiving self-hate

and in that mass of thoughts,

there resides a place

for memories lost

and childhoods never lived

that abyss

you reach within

and feel nothing

for you are nothing,

as compared to that darkness

that threatens

to devour

what light you see

in your eyes

you’ve truly forgotten that place,

but it exists still,

in a cruel yet beautiful reality

you may not come across

it again, but it continues,

to haunt your

every waking moment

and it echoes,

against the scars

that mark your skin

it’s not what you want

it’s what others want

and you’re forced to remember; again,

that you’re just a pawn

waiting to be sacrificed

for the greater good

but it is truly forgotten

surviving only within the recesses

of your broken mind

time doesn’t ease the pain,

nor does it relieve you

of any fear

because it lingers,

time and time again,

whispering quietly,

cursing your

failures

disappointments

despairs

fears

grudges

everything,

anything

that you want to forget

yet continues to exist

and thus

you have forgotten

how to live